Best Traffic Ever

So, in an earlier post Dodo mentioned the crazy shit that was going down this weekend. This sent many into a tizzy, fiendishly buying tickets to out of area places, or simply using this impending traffic delay as an excuse to squander all their money in Vegas. I anticipated being in a lockdown situation in my own apartment, which would probably involve me lounging in undie-roos with Mimi. However, yesterday morning, I decided to check out what the traffic situation was like using good ol' Google Maps. And here is what I found:

The magical powers of fear

So, I hazarded taking my car onto the freeway. And what I found were empty roads, now perhaps a Zombie Apocalypse happened to occur on this same weekend and that explains the eerily empty roads, but whatever the reason: the traffic has never been better!

In Old Man News

Lairin Paris and I are editors for our college's literary magazine. [We're big deals... that's what I'm trying to say]. Anywho, each semester, we welcome a few newbs to the staff and go out to dinner at a delicate place called Phillipe's in Chinatown.

Whilst sitting there with our entourage of literature nerds, this gentleman strolls in:

Now, let's review. He's got that light on his head (not in use when inside), a pin that says "God is Good," and a flashing-red-light-necklace of sorts.

AKA the lethal combination of a straight up BADASS.

The World Upsets Me Sometimes

So, I was shopping with Dodo and my friend, Paris. Because some items needed to be returned at various places and Paris had a gift card, we reluctantly decided to go to the Americana. Which, for those of you familiar with the Grove, is essentially the EXACT SAME THING, but in Glendale.

We are walking along. Ready to execute our plan, so we don't have to hang around that abyss for too long. In our attempts to find an H&M (where Paris had a gift card), we were stunned to see this display:

 

That is a window display of female mannequins doing household chores. In our shock and awe, we decided to take photographic evidence. Whilst doing this, a man walked by, saw what we were taking a picture of and said: "oooohhhhh cool!" I guess he didn't understand that we were taking this photo out of anger, not window-shopping wonder.

For those who are wondering, this is from a Forever 21 store. Unfortunately, Paris, Dodo, and I mistook this store for H&M (they all look the same) and went in. The display was just as absurd inside:

They are really just grabbing 2011 by the throat with this display. I had always assumed a woman only did chores in an apron, but NOW I see that it's totally cool to do it in heels! Thank God. I had been feeling so held back by antiquated notions of how you could dress when you did your womanly duties. 

Luckily, we figured out we were in the wrong place and made our way over to H&M, which was also all white and brightly lit, but the music was just as loud, which at the tender age of 21, I just can't take anymore!

Kleine