Too Cool for School

Lairin and I were gchatting today (as we do) and we really hashed a lot of great stuff out. I feel like if we were in the UN, in some capacity, a lot of shit would get done. And by "shit" I mean "existential ramblings about nothing." Allow me to set the stage, Lairin is in the midst of applying to MFA programs:

Lairin: oh god UT Austin wants my "hours earned"

for college

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW

Kleine: what?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Lairin: use units like the rest of the civilized world!!!!!

Kleine: you should just write

"suck it, trebek"

they'd be like "WOW SUBVERSIVE, GREAT REF, SHE'S IN"

Lairin: YES

I think they mean GPA?

or units

IT IS NOT CLEAR

Kleine: would infinity be an appropriate response?

i think it could work for all of them

because

you want to continue school

so, infinite units

Lairin: FOREVER

Kleine: EXACTEMENT

OH NORTON

HOW I MISS YOUR GIRTH

(that's gross)

((didn't realize that gross double entendre till it was too late))

Lairin: I just spat coffee onto myself

Man, Bitches love Norton.

This is Love

Lairin and I often gchat. And by often, I mean, always. We are basically a married couple, but it's long distance. She's near the beach and I'm still in LA. Weekends are our only times together. Thus, we resort to gchat. We discuss the events of our day, even as they are happening.

Last night, I was telling Lairin of someone's disappointing behavior towards me. Her response:

I am...
not pleased.
knee caps
gonna get all broken up
in this joint. *

Now, THAT is poetry!

*Each line represents the content of each separate instant message.

How The Times Have Changed

I was looking through some old gchat conversations I had with my mom for fun/ procrastination. I found this gem from 9/29/08:

Kleine: So, can we talk about the financial crisis for a second?
Mammers: Sure.
Kleine: What the hell is going on??!! Did the stock market go crazy today?
Mammers: Well, have you gotten your cardboard box and a spot under the freeway picked out?

At the time, I thought it was funny and vainly hoped that by the time I graduated college (this May), it wouldn't be an actual possibility. BUT I WAS WRONG.